whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
