i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
