she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
