don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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