Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
