butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
two words...techno handjob
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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