I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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