their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
