these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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