Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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