I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
