i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
