I just cut my nipple shaving
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
