I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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