I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
