All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
