Having a random hookup so left but love u
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
