I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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