Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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