Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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