my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
