Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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