the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
