Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
