there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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