found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
