I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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