you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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