Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
