is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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