i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
