My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
