I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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