i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
