Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
