There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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