all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just high enough for therapy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
