Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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