you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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