When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
