About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
