i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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