Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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