Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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