i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
