ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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