Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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