Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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