If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
