Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
