Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The beer is more important than you right now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
