i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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