Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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